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Archive for August, 2010

Yesterday I was talking to The Count on the phone (because remember, The Count lives in a very, very big city that is not my own). We were having a normal chat, you know, what have you been doing? how are things on the lady friend front? am I ready to kill myself yet? definitely a normal convo.

THEN…The Count randomly yells “What the fuuuuuuuucckkk” was that?!

At this point I’m not really too concerned.  This saying might be normal for us. Also, we sometimes randomly say things in Spanish to each other mid-sentence (even though neither one of us really speaks any Espanol), so this profane outburst, if you will, does not alarm me. What The Count says next, alarms me.

The Count: Holy shit Peach, the window in my room just fell in.

Peach: What,  you mean, like, slipped off the track?

The Count: No, I mean MY WINDOW JUST FUCKING FELL INTO MY ROOM

Peach: I’m confused

The Count: I’ll send you a pic. I gotta go.

RUT ROW

As you can see, the window literally fell into his room. It’s a wonder it didn’t shatter, although, his room in very, very big city is most definitely not a very, very big space.

I hope your castle gets fixed soon Count. I don’t want any bad guys trying to shenk you or anything.

P.S. The Count may or may not live in a super nice, not at all historically dangerous, but really not that terrible neighborhood in the very, very big city. Shenkings, I would believe, are not that far fetched.

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Floundering

Not to get all depressing on anyone today…but the following is a fact.

Fact: I’m Floundering.

I feel like the proverbial and literal fish out of water – flopping around all desperately because I can’t breathe on the dock. That’s what I feel like every morning when I wake up. Floundering.

I have no idea WTF I’m supposed to be doing. I have no idea what my path is anymore. At one point in time it was so clear and logical. PS – I’m good at what I was supposed to do. I understand it. Now, it’s a mess. Messiness leads to, yep, you guess it, Floundering.

UGGGG…maybe someone will dump a huge bucket of water on me or if I’m really lucky, throw me back into the ocean?

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Ok…so, its time to go back to school….specifically law school. Funny shit happens in law school. Some of it is scarring. I had the pleasure of being inducted into the law school cult on the first day of class. Who knows why I was chosen. Who cares. But, the following story is true and hilarious and impossible.  Enjoy!

My law school broke the 1L’s up into three sections and each section had between 45-65 students (guessing) – this is nothing out of the ordinary.  During the first semester at my law school, 1L’s take criminal law. Many law students like criminal law (thanks to Law and Order). Many people think they know criminal law (thanks to Law and Order).

At my law school there were two criminal law professors for the three sections. One was a bit of a legend. People at orientation mused about his stories and cautioned us fledging 1L’s against wearing red in his class because this particular professor liked to call on people wearing red. Weird. I know. Get used to it, law profs are weird. Law students are weirder. Anyway… as luck would have it, I did not get the red-shirt-calling professor, I got another professor. He was educated on the east coast. He was very strange (btw: I ended up really liking him, but let’s not spoil the story).

On the first day of class he marched in, the tension and fright in the room was palpable. Seriously, we were all terrified. Before saying hello or good morning, this man we’ve never seen, let alone met, starts calling on people at random BY NAME! It seemed like magic. Or a curse. Or voodoo. How the hell did he know our names already? Needless to say, it freaked the hell outta us. As with most criminal law classes, you start at the beginning with the Dudley Stephens case – about men on a boat that turn to cannibals or some shit like that. You are scared but your first classes seem SO.COOL. because its new. Just don’t be the douchebag that wants to show everyone that you’re cooler than the class. People will hate you and mock you and you won’t have anyone to sit next to at graduation….this really happens.

So class progresses, the professor keeps calling people at random, by name, and we’re still scared. Then it happens….BOOM….My name gets called. I almost puked. I still didn’t even know how to pronounce this professor’s name,  let alone anything about criminal law. The professor presents me with the following question:

Professor: “Life, Unrehearsed, if you were walking down  the sidewalk and saw a helpless little baby face down in a puddle, would you stop to turn it over so that it could continue breathing and have a chance at life?”

LU: “Absolutely. I would never let a baby die in a puddle. I could NOT keep walking.”

Professor: “Ok, LU, that’s nice….BUT, what if you saw this baby laying face down in the puddle and you knew for 100% certain that this baby is Hitler, and if you turn it over so that it can start breathing, you are also ensuring that the Holocaust will still happen and millions of innocent people will die at the hands of this baby when he grows up. What do you do now? Do you turn the baby over so it doesn’t drown? Do you have to turn the baby over?”

LU: “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, welllll, ummm, no?”  (THINKING, WTF?????)

Professor: moves on to torture next unsuspecting soul

This is a true story. I got the “Save Hitler as a Baby Hypothetical” on the first day of class and still have no freaking clue about what the answer should be. Welcome to law school little ones.

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L-I-V-I-N

Just living the dream today (read: doing the same boring stuff I do everyday), rocking out to Taylor Swift (if you can even rock out to her) and the Glee soundtrack (which you can definitely rock out to).

Judge away…..

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Nada

Nothing is going on. Really. Nothing.

Unless you wish to hear about the fact that all my laundry for the week is miraculously done before midnight, I’m dying from the oppressive heat we’re having this summer, or that I plan on having something for dinner tonight made with my organic tomatoes, I’m just not interesting. Although I’m looking forward to things that may be about to happen or that I would like to happen, the reality is that life is just kinda “alls quiet on the home front”.

I got nothing.  Zip. Zilch. Nada.

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Full Steam Ahead

I’ve got a pretty busy week and will be out of town for a few days – send happy thoughts. I’ll try to post some, but don’t know if I’ll have the time whilst I’m jet setting (HA!).

So as to not have a two sentence post, I’ll recap a little bit of what last week was like over here at Life, Unrehearsed.

I implemented the new plan, complete with my hot pink highlighter, day timer, color coded notebook, and file tote. It was fantastic. There were some rough spots adjusting to the new schedule, but overall, it was a HUGE success. YAY for organization!

I purchased a new file tote. If you don’t have one, get one. They are fabulous. Hanging files and a cute bag is like nirvana in my world.

The neighbors that live below me and that are from a different culture play a different type of music. I’m open to new things, but I think they’re still on Mumbai time or something. I may need to explain the concept of reasonableness. On that note, maybe I should explain reasonableness to myself when Lady GaGa or the Glee soundtrack blares over the ihome at 5:45am to wake me up.

That’s all for now….

P.S. A&E, you should hire me to come organize the hoarders homes. I think its a tragic problem and could really help, but please keep in mind, I don’t do dead animals, mmmm kay?

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