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So, aside from the Cans for Comments post on Friday, my blog updating has been, er, sparse. Or non-existent. Whatever.

This, dear readers is what you have missed by Life, Unrehearsed in the last eight weeks…Top Ten Style.

1.  My birthday has come and gone. It was a good one. I have many dear friends and family that made things great.

2.  I am still unemployed. Meh, it’s a whiny topic and I’m not in the mood to whine today. Maybe wine later, though.

3.  Fall televisions shows have come back with a vengeance. Since I’ve managed to negotiate for free DVR for 12 months from our lovely cable provider Comcast, I’ve been a recording fool. Tops on the list this fall: The Good Wife, The Big Bang Theory, and Glee. I also fill the void with Lockup, I Shouldn’t Be Alive, and Project Runway.

4.  Speaking of Project Runway, Mondo should have won. That is all I will say about that.

5.  I am considering getting a dog and have started the search. I know what I want and I have names picked out. Just waiting for the right time and the right dog.

6.  I still hate traffic. Seriously, it’s awful and my soul dies a little bit every time I have to sit in it.

7.  I found an awesome new shampoo that makes my hair look fantastic. It’s pricey, but worth the volume!

8.  Had a check-up at the doctor. I’m healthy! Yay! Also, got some new prescriptions that are hella expensive. No me gusta.

9.  I’m going to get to travel to see a wonderful friend that’s having her first baby. I’m super excited and I’ll let you know how the visit goes. She’s super cute and all belly.

10.  I miss my law school friends terribly. I was recently in a situation where I was surrounded by current law students. Douches. It made me miss my law school girlfriends so much. I know we would have made fun of them ad nauseam.

That’s it for now. I’ll be back soon to discuss other inane topics.

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Comments for Cans

I know it’s been almost 2 months since an update. My friend Amie called me out for not blogging. I raise her call out with a shout out. See what I just did there?

Anyway, I’ll get back to my life updates in a later post which will be written at some point in the near future. I pinky swear.

However, today a wonderful and inspiring blogger with the cutest beagle on the block raised a challenge. She’s paying it forward and pledging to donate 1 can for every comment left on her blog today describing a time when you did something nice for someone else. I was amazed at this great idea and creative way to donate canned food to people who need it all over the country. In fact, I even pledged to match her donation to a food bank in my home state.

So, without further Adieu, go over to Daisy’s blog and make a comment so we can buy and donate cans!

Yesterday I was talking to The Count on the phone (because remember, The Count lives in a very, very big city that is not my own). We were having a normal chat, you know, what have you been doing? how are things on the lady friend front? am I ready to kill myself yet? definitely a normal convo.

THEN…The Count randomly yells “What the fuuuuuuuucckkk” was that?!

At this point I’m not really too concerned.  This saying might be normal for us. Also, we sometimes randomly say things in Spanish to each other mid-sentence (even though neither one of us really speaks any Espanol), so this profane outburst, if you will, does not alarm me. What The Count says next, alarms me.

The Count: Holy shit Peach, the window in my room just fell in.

Peach: What,  you mean, like, slipped off the track?

The Count: No, I mean MY WINDOW JUST FUCKING FELL INTO MY ROOM

Peach: I’m confused

The Count: I’ll send you a pic. I gotta go.

RUT ROW

As you can see, the window literally fell into his room. It’s a wonder it didn’t shatter, although, his room in very, very big city is most definitely not a very, very big space.

I hope your castle gets fixed soon Count. I don’t want any bad guys trying to shenk you or anything.

P.S. The Count may or may not live in a super nice, not at all historically dangerous, but really not that terrible neighborhood in the very, very big city. Shenkings, I would believe, are not that far fetched.

Floundering

Not to get all depressing on anyone today…but the following is a fact.

Fact: I’m Floundering.

I feel like the proverbial and literal fish out of water – flopping around all desperately because I can’t breathe on the dock. That’s what I feel like every morning when I wake up. Floundering.

I have no idea WTF I’m supposed to be doing. I have no idea what my path is anymore. At one point in time it was so clear and logical. PS – I’m good at what I was supposed to do. I understand it. Now, it’s a mess. Messiness leads to, yep, you guess it, Floundering.

UGGGG…maybe someone will dump a huge bucket of water on me or if I’m really lucky, throw me back into the ocean?

Ok…so, its time to go back to school….specifically law school. Funny shit happens in law school. Some of it is scarring. I had the pleasure of being inducted into the law school cult on the first day of class. Who knows why I was chosen. Who cares. But, the following story is true and hilarious and impossible.  Enjoy!

My law school broke the 1L’s up into three sections and each section had between 45-65 students (guessing) – this is nothing out of the ordinary.  During the first semester at my law school, 1L’s take criminal law. Many law students like criminal law (thanks to Law and Order). Many people think they know criminal law (thanks to Law and Order).

At my law school there were two criminal law professors for the three sections. One was a bit of a legend. People at orientation mused about his stories and cautioned us fledging 1L’s against wearing red in his class because this particular professor liked to call on people wearing red. Weird. I know. Get used to it, law profs are weird. Law students are weirder. Anyway… as luck would have it, I did not get the red-shirt-calling professor, I got another professor. He was educated on the east coast. He was very strange (btw: I ended up really liking him, but let’s not spoil the story).

On the first day of class he marched in, the tension and fright in the room was palpable. Seriously, we were all terrified. Before saying hello or good morning, this man we’ve never seen, let alone met, starts calling on people at random BY NAME! It seemed like magic. Or a curse. Or voodoo. How the hell did he know our names already? Needless to say, it freaked the hell outta us. As with most criminal law classes, you start at the beginning with the Dudley Stephens case – about men on a boat that turn to cannibals or some shit like that. You are scared but your first classes seem SO.COOL. because its new. Just don’t be the douchebag that wants to show everyone that you’re cooler than the class. People will hate you and mock you and you won’t have anyone to sit next to at graduation….this really happens.

So class progresses, the professor keeps calling people at random, by name, and we’re still scared. Then it happens….BOOM….My name gets called. I almost puked. I still didn’t even know how to pronounce this professor’s name,  let alone anything about criminal law. The professor presents me with the following question:

Professor: “Life, Unrehearsed, if you were walking down  the sidewalk and saw a helpless little baby face down in a puddle, would you stop to turn it over so that it could continue breathing and have a chance at life?”

LU: “Absolutely. I would never let a baby die in a puddle. I could NOT keep walking.”

Professor: “Ok, LU, that’s nice….BUT, what if you saw this baby laying face down in the puddle and you knew for 100% certain that this baby is Hitler, and if you turn it over so that it can start breathing, you are also ensuring that the Holocaust will still happen and millions of innocent people will die at the hands of this baby when he grows up. What do you do now? Do you turn the baby over so it doesn’t drown? Do you have to turn the baby over?”

LU: “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, welllll, ummm, no?”  (THINKING, WTF?????)

Professor: moves on to torture next unsuspecting soul

This is a true story. I got the “Save Hitler as a Baby Hypothetical” on the first day of class and still have no freaking clue about what the answer should be. Welcome to law school little ones.

L-I-V-I-N

Just living the dream today (read: doing the same boring stuff I do everyday), rocking out to Taylor Swift (if you can even rock out to her) and the Glee soundtrack (which you can definitely rock out to).

Judge away…..

Nada

Nothing is going on. Really. Nothing.

Unless you wish to hear about the fact that all my laundry for the week is miraculously done before midnight, I’m dying from the oppressive heat we’re having this summer, or that I plan on having something for dinner tonight made with my organic tomatoes, I’m just not interesting. Although I’m looking forward to things that may be about to happen or that I would like to happen, the reality is that life is just kinda “alls quiet on the home front”.

I got nothing.  Zip. Zilch. Nada.